i hate myself
I HATE MYSELF. I H A T E M Y S E L F! This is ALL my fault. All of this is my fault. I knew I'd regret it. I regret it all. I can't do anything right. I thought I did the right thing.. but I end up with a sea of regrets.. not a sea.. an ocean. It's called "nikky's regrets" along with all the tears i cried.. do you know how hard i tried?
I tried to keep it together but I can't. I hate this. I hate emotions. I hate crying. I HATE CARING ABOUT STUPID SHIT THAT I SHOULDN'T CARE ABOUT!! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT AND I SHOULD JUST GET SHOT OR SOMETHING.... i'm gonna read this in a day and be like 'wow i am a drama queen' but it really does piss me off how nothing seems to be going right and it's all MY fault.. i have made so many mistakes in 2003.. in 2004 i just wanna do something right for once. something that'll actually end up making me happy...