Shitty
I am going through so much shit right now it isn't funny. I am starting off the year horribly. Ahh I wanna go back out with Morgan so bad it's crazy. I never got over him even though I went out with Jimmy.. I think there's a reason that god wanted me to go out with jimmy. to prove looks don't matter and that i should have gotten to know him better, because he really isn't who i expected him to be. He is a little wigga boy who lies and is two faced and is really mean. he is not the kind of guy i ever want to be in a relationship with ever again, because he has gotten me in a lot of trouble and screwed with my mind. not with my body don't worry. I just think I need to change my ways and think twice before I do stupid shit like that again.. and I'm not gonna trust people so easily.. I don't know what I'm gonna do. All I know is that life's a bitch

i hate my life
yeah yesterday was the best and today sucked. yep.. today sucked. jimmy dumped me but that's not why it sucked

Hmmm
Well today was interesting. Jimmy came over and we talked on the phone with Brianna and it was pretty fun. And we looked at my dad's magic box.. haha it was really fun and funny and then i kicked jimmy and then i hugged him and surprisingly we didn't make out. that is like an accomplishment for me. i deserve an award! Haha Yes I really do. Wow ... do you think Jimmy is a wigga? I don't think he is but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Tomorrow I'm walking home with brianna maybe danielle and Jimmy.. wow...

Haha
Ox l3 r i xO (6:37:46 PM): nikk nikk nikky
ur full name is kinda icky
but it dont make me sicky
dont u like to licky?

thats kinda wack
how u have a back
but u only lack
a tummy snack?

i sit and watch
while u scotch
the famouse bioch
on bay watch

u took a screw
and told ur crew
u created a new dew

haha.. me brianna and danielle are the degrassi girls.. cuz i love degrassi

Boredsom
I filled out a really long survey a couple nights ago because I got bored... Yeah I'm gonna put this in my blog and it'll take up like the whole thing now won't it.. Haha.. Um.. Yeah read my answers.. You'll find out a little bit more about me than you already know! .. January 1, 2004

a.l.l a.b.o.u.t y.o.u

1.full name:: Nicole Lejarde Raney

2.bday:: June 7, 1990

3.birth state:: Try country...Philippines

4.birth town:: San Fernando, Philippines

5.wut hospital:: omg i don't know! Probably some long unpronounceable thing anyway...

6.last 4 digits of cell:: buy me a cell phone then I can tell you the last 4 digits of my cell

7.house number (last 4):: 4513

8.weight at birth:: like I remember that

9.and now:: I weigh like 111 okay? On days when I eat a lot I'll weigh 114 on days that I don't eat much I'll weigh 108.. Depends how much I eat and how much excersize I get...

10.time of birth:: 1:30 am...

11.height:: I'm 5 foot 5 inches

12.eye color:: chocolate brown

13.tan/pale/black/mixed:: VERY TAN and it's natural too.. That's just the perks of being born in the Philippines.

14.race:: I'm 50% Philippino 25% German 25% American (or w/e it's called)

15.parents names:: Ralph Karl Raney + Angelina Ocampo Lejarde Raney

16.pets:: no.. unfortunately I do not have any

17.how many rooms in ur house:: like a million....hold on lemme count like 22.. We have a lot of doorways too.. But not all of them have doors in them.. Well you just have to come visit my house lol..

18.kinda car u have:: i dont have a car

19.kinda car ur parents have:: altima + van

20.school:: Dover Middle School

21.class of.... 2008

22.sport 's:: nope

23.sports played:: blahhh I don't play sports leave me alone.

24.grade:: 8th grade babii.... In 8th months I'll be a freshman! Ahh scary scary thought...

25.age:: 13

26.sex:: With you? nah... lol haha... I'm a *giRLie*

27.3 words to describe you:: Talkative-Naughty-Sweet

28.siblings-age/name:: I am an only child... isn't that great

29.live with:: Mom and Dad...

30.piercing:: ears

31.tattoos:: OUCH that would cause a lot of pain...

32.grade school:: Woodman Park

33.color of room:: sponge painted pink and blue covered w/a million posters...seriously... and I write all over my walls and tables and doors..

34.color of carpet:: weird chinese designs.. It's like a bluish

35.room size:: eh medium

36.bed size:: tiny.. I don't need a big bed.. It's not like I have anyone sleeping with me...

37.sheet colors:: ummm it varies.... I wear like 5 billion layers of sheets...and blankies

38.how many pillows:: 2 or 3

39.shoe size:: 6-7

40.pant size:: 2-3

41.shirt size:: depends what store.. At Pacsun I'm a SMALL.. At Weathervane I am a SMALL...... At like Filenes and JcPenney and those stores I think I'm an Extra Small... or a small... um... let's just say I'm a SMALL

42.bra size:: Okay yeah I'll tell you the number but not the letter.. You can figure that out by yourself you perv! 30............. here I'll give you choices.. Im either an a , b , c , or , d... haha

43.whats in your room:: a whole lotta shit.. I got a bed a beaureau another beaureau.. Um.. A table.. Some chairs.. Some boxes 2 mirrors a lot of clothes.. A closet... a lot of make up and magazines and notebooks and biaries.. And BOXES and... a carpet.. And shoes.. And posters.. And a cd player and another one that's broken.. And cds.. And another little beaureau thingy that's in the corner.. And cards.. And cash.. And bags.. And a trashcan.. And .. Um.. Candy.. A butterfinger..hehe.. Um... Christmas presents.. Wrapping paper... pens.. Paper.. Uh... am I forgetting a lot of stuff? Probably...

44.kinda computer:: e machines

45.color computer:: moniter is white the actual computer is black.. And the speakers are black and silver just like the comuter tower thingy.. The microphone is white the mouse is white the keyboard is black and silver.. And the web cam is white.. And the modem is white and the modem cord "internet" is black

46.color car:: what mine... umm the altima is called a "grafyte" color.. And the van is dark blue

47.money in bank account:: idk.. Not like I see it

48.posters in room:: 1,000,000,000,000,000 I am not kidding

49.hair color:: i have a lot of blonde in it right now I need to dye it again.. I love my hair cut it's so short and cute

50.kinda hair(curly, straight...):: straight

f.a.v.o.r.i.t.e.s

51.girl names Quinn, Riley, Alexia, Diavian, Jaycee, Adrian, Adina, Lani, Vicki, Tori, Chanel, Frieda (haha it sounds like a fish but I like it..) , Scarlett, Kadi, Kari, Casey, Kayleigh, Carissa, Brynn, Dasha, Evelyn.. NIKKY... There's a lot of names I like...

52.guy names Todd, Damien, Joel, DAMIEN IS THE BEST NAME EVER... umm... Evan, James, Tino is a cool name just not VALENTINO, uh.. Brett.. JIMMY.. Haha.. PIERRE... Chuck.. Haha I like that CHUCK.. Chris.. That's a cool name.. CHRIS... Jake.. JT.. Craig.. I don't know...

53.song:: At the moment my favorite songs are Rapid Hope Loss by: Dashboard Confessional, Sincerely Me By: New Found Glory, Forget My Name by: New Found Glory, Funky Dory by: Rachel Stevens, Numb by: Linkin Park, When I'm With You by: Simple Plan, Feelin This by: Blink 182, Hey Ya by: Outkast, Suga Suga by: Frankie J & Baby Bash, The Great Houdini by: New Found Glory, You're So Last Summer by: Taking Back Sunday, I Keed by: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Out of Control by: Hoobastank, Me Against the Music by: Britney Spears (hey shut up...), I Miss You by: Blink 182, Santa Baby by: Madonna, Bye Bye Boyfriend by: Fe Fe Dobson, Take Me Away by: Fe Fe Dobson, Kiss Me Fool by: Fe Fe Dobson, Everything Sucks When You're Gone by: MXPX, Sick by: Lillix, I like The way You Move by: Outkast, Something to Sleep To by: Michelle Branch, Ghost Of A Good Thing by: Dashboard Confessional, Get Low by: Lil Jon & Eastside Boys, This Is Growing Up by: Blink 182, Glory Of Love by: New Found Glory, Hit Or Miss by: New Found Glory, Addicted by: Simple Plan ( an oldie but a GOODY ), Boy Crazy by: New Found Glory, Stacy's Mom by: Fountain's Of Wayne, Heaven by: New Found Glory, Bloody Valentine by: Good Charlotte, Black and Blue by: New Found Glory, Da Dip by: Freak Nasty, Way Away by: Yellowcard, Freakish by: Saves The Day, Anywhere With You by: Saves The Day, Make You Mine by: Mike Shorey, You'll Always Be My Baby by: Mariah Carey, Never Give Up by: New Found Glory, Adam's Song by: Blink182, Again I go Unnoticed by: Dashboard Confessional, Can't Let You Go by: fabulous, One More Sad Song by: All American Rejects, Time Standing Still by: All American Rejects, What About Us by: Brandy and a lot of others.. Yeah umm.. If you ever need a song to download try some of those

54.cd:: my mixes....since I am one of those people who burns their own cds.

55.scent axe essence.. omg that'll drive a girl crazy.. Haha I love that.. And yeah some guys just smell really good.. Like JAKAR? Or whatever Wilmer Valderamma uses.. I thought it was called "jerk hard" cuz Jimmy uses it and Brianna smelt it and yeah....

56.emotion:: hyper/happy...

57.feeling:: my favorite feeling is when you're really happy and laughing and you know everything is good

58.thing to do:: laugh and talk and hang out... and talk on aol im... and go shopping

59.place:: my house and school and the mall...

60.cartoon:: Daria or like Quinn Morgandorfer.. Omg when I was like 10 I wanted to be just like her haha.. Alright shut up...

61.book:: I have a list for you.. Get It While It's Hot. Or Not. By: Valerie Hobbs. Gingerbread by: Rachel Cohn.. Go Ask Alice... Planet Janet.. Um.. I have a lot. They are all about like sex and getting pregnant and stuff...

62.subject:: english im obsessed with poetry.. If you hadn't already figured that out

63.shampoo:: Garnier fruictis

64.sport:: well I will watch baseball

65.color:: MAGENTA

66.food:: sushi and um.. I will eat just about anything.. I like chicken too.. And I love salads... and I like ice cream

67.drink:: strawberry daquiris + apple juice and BOTTLED WATER!!!!!!!

68.alcohol:: nooooo bad bad bad!

69<--- number lol :: 16 is my lucky number

70.basketball team:: Celtics

71.baseball team: DUHHHHH YANKEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!! Hahaha lol Morgan got me into them.. And you know Jeter is hott ... hehe... and yeah the Yankees are the best.

72.football team :: patriots? sure why not. i pretended to like the raidors to impress a guy in 6th grade.. didnt work.. Hehe... I even got my braces to be silver and black.. To impress that kid...

73.hockey team :: BRUINS

74.underwear:: I buy my underwear at weathervane with Danielle fredette... hehe because this kind of underwear that I buy I can't buy with my mom *achoo* thongs *achoo*... lol... Danielle looks at my undies.. But only when I'm not wearing them *wink wink*

75.store:: PacSun and Weathervane

76.fast food:: No that's ok im good.... Maybe wendys or like those places at the mall where you can eat food..

77.eat in:: im not picky.. Maybe like Fridays.. I like the Fridays in Tennesse....

78.breakfast place:: i dont no I like the Cracker Barrel in Tennesse.. But they don't have it in New Hampshire

79.breakfast food:: cinnamon French toast... ooo sooo tasty

80.sound:: OMG SOO MANY....

81.car:: Porsche..or a Ferrari!.. Cuz Jimmy wants a Ferrari.. haha

82.show:: Degrassi is my favorite show in the entire world...

83.animal:: BUNNY

84.snack:: Uhhh i d k.. cheese and crackers

85.thing to do with friends:: um well I like to walk home from school the rent movies and hang out in the family room with them and throw mints at each other then take pix with the web cam and watch movies and visit "cousin jim" at the "library"...

86.thing to do with crush/bf/gf:: make out... haha I like to go caroling in front of my boyfriend's house until he comes out in his blue bath robe and jeans.. Hahaha... actually I like hanging out at the "library" with them at like 7:39 at night.. And um.. Making out.. Haha...

87.brand of clothes:: Weathervane? Is that even a brand.. I feel like a dork.. Umm I like all the brands at pacsun.....

88.brand of shoes:: Etnies + volatile

89.sport to watch :: BASEBALL...

90.gum:: WINTERFRESH

91.candy:: chewy swet tarts from limited too haha... and laffy taffy... and the MINTS!!!

92.flavor of....

93.skittles RED

94.starburst REd

95.koolaid RED

96.pop RED-->do u see a pattern emerging here

97.jolly rancher RED

98.person RED FORMAN.. HAHAHA JUST KIDDING.. HAHA... i dont have a fave person.. haha im funny aren't i?.. Umm actually my favorite person is ________________________

99.actor:: ashton kutcher + wilmer valderrama + Jake Epstein + Ryan Cooley + Chad Michael Murray + Adam Brody + all those other hotties in the movie biz...

100.actress:: Jessica Alba

101.female singer:: Michelle Branch or Stacy Orrico.. Or um... Christina Aguilera.. Omg did I jus say that? Did u know I used to HATE christina Aguilera with a passion? Haha.. Umm Michelle Branch is probably my favorite

102.male singer:: clay aiken.. NOT. Ewwww he's gross.. Um.. Male Singer? My favorite male singer? Oh I don't know!

103.rapper:: >>eminem<<


l.o.v.e. l.i.f.e

104.do you have a bf/gf?:: yes i do

105.if so whats their name :: Jimmy Meattey.. Or Meatty or Miedie Or Meidie.. Or WHATEVER THE HELL HIS LAST NAME IS!! OMGG!!!

106.how long have you been together:: um.. Let's count the days.. Haha um about 18 days maybe..

109.if u dont have a bf/gf whos ur crush:: iggaba.. Hmm.. Do I have crushes besides jimmy... *confused face* eh.... Let's not go there right now... eh... *makes a face* ok next question *rolls eyes*

110.how long have u liked them? :: Um.. Well I don't know if I could really give an honest answer... no I can't..

111.would u go out with them right now?:: i am.......

112.longest relationship:: 87 days...3 months..lol.. It was with Tino

113.shortest:: uhh.. like 4 days maybe

114.are you a playa?:: my friends say i kind of am

115.whats the furthest you have gone?:: personal question....

116.who was ur best kiss:: all my kisses were just fine...

117.first kiss?:: no...let's stop right here

118.grossest kiss:: GARON WHITNEY... psst.. How about no one tells him I said that... please.. LoL... thanx. Keep it on the down low.. He sucked literally.. We called him the vaccuuum..

120.same as 105--ever kissed... :: Me and Jimmy? We haven't kissed we have made out.. Lol....

121.who would u kiss if u could kiss anyone in the world?:: AWW ARE YOU SERIOUS ANYONE IN THE WORLD! I AM NOT TELLING.. Lol..

122.whats ur fav sexual thing to do? :: umm... this is getting gross...

d.o. y.o.u b.e.l.i.e.v.e i.n......

128.aliens:: No that's silly

129.ghost:: ummmm

130.god:: YES

131.satan:: YES

132.heaven:: YES

133.hell :: YES

134.afterlife :: YES

135.love at first sight:: I did.. Not anymore tho

136.santa:: SHUT UP

137.wut comes around goes around:: eh... yeah it's true

w.h.i.c.h o.n.e?

138.gym shoes/sandals:: sandals

139.dvd/vcr:: DVD!!!!!

141.boxer/briefs:: BOXERS.. Haha paul's silver boxers...

142.summer/winter:: summer

143.spring/fall:: SPRING

144.make love/cuddle:: CUDDLE!!! make out actually.... I can't say I've ever actually "cuddled" but it sounds nice... aww I wanna cuddle.. Does anyone wanna cuddle with me.. It's sounds so cute it reminds me of like polar bears.. Aww like cuddle..

145.kiss/hug:: uhhh why not both.. Um.. KISS... or hug.. If im sad I wanna hug.. If im horny I wanna kiss.. Hey im just telling it like it is.

146.chocolate/vanilla:: VANILLA

147.juice/pop:: JUICE

148.chill/party:: BOTH

149.draw/write:: WRITE

150.nite/day:: hehehehehe depends

151.capris/shorts:: shorts

152.make-up/none:: make up

153.shower/bath:: COLD SHOWERS IN THE SUMMER!!!!! Haha... aww I wanna take a bubble bath

154.food/drink:: uhhh drinks and food go hand in hand...

155.drive/walk:: walk

156.nsync/bsb:: o gosh do i have to chose

157.98/otown:: o town

158.christina/britney:: I never thought I'd say this but.. christina

159.nelly/luda:: NELLY

160.ja/50:: FIFTY CENT BABY

161.pizza/spaghetti:: I never thought I'd say this but pizza. I hated pizza like a month ago.. But ya see me and brianna and Danielle and sam (sry abc order) rented a pizza yesterday and then today brianna and Danielle bought me sam Danielle and brianna pizza.. And yeah so.. Ordering pizza is fun.. Unless people are dumbass' and don't see the big adds with the phone number (it's okay Danielle...we still love you)

162.chinese/mexican(food):: BOTH

163.pink/purple:: both = magenta pink + purple= magenta = my favorite color

164.red/blue:: blue and red.. How patriotic!

165.scared/nervous:: nervous

166.mad/sad:: sad

p.a.s.t

167.best memory:: my 13th birthday party on June 7, 2003.. Umm May 23rd 2003.. Daddy Day Care .. Movies.. U know... wink wink.. Um December 31, 2003 with Danielle sam and brianna.. Um.. I have a lot of memories...

168.worst memory:: MAY 28th.. DIE DIE DIE DIE! Ugh that day for me was like the day of depression but im over it.. And um.. Another memory is when my aunt pam died... and when I lost my friend... and having my notes being read out loud on the bus ugh.. And um.. Cheating on james...

169.do u regreat anything u ever did?:: I regret cheating on james.. I regret doing stuff with a guy that never cared about me.. I regret dumping ... him ... , I regret soo soo soo soo much.. Omg there's too much to say

170.best chilhood memory? okay idk if this is the best, but i remember me and lisa and nicole brown at recess in like 2nd grade would put on black nail polish and pretend to be witches + stuff.. and omgosh we had so much fun in 2nd grade.. omg and okay when i was like 8 i won a beauty contest in the philippines... yeah i know im gorgeous.. but i was fat then... Uhh.. What else.. Umm I remember me and sarah swible were fighting over caleb haha I won.. And me and Nicole brown were fighting over nick lemoyne.. Ehh I lost.. Hey you can't win em all.. And I remember Nicole brown's 9th birthday party.. Ahaha.. Wait no 8th.. And I remember sam quimby or erika gottlub or Nicole dejong one of those people was playing tetherball and I was wearing a dress and they hit me with the ball and I fell down... yeah...

171.what were you scared of as a child?:: spiders... death...

172.what was ur favorite cartoon growin up?:: ummm.. tom + jerry the cats

173.favorite stuffed animal/blankie/etc.:: LICORICE.. my clown

174.did u suck ur thumb?:: no

175.do u still have any of the same friends u did when u were 7 and under? yeah Lisa is my only one... + Gabby + um yea thats about it.. no wait nick lemoyne too maybe sure..hmm.. Under 7.. Who was I friends with back then man.. Um... no idea...

n.o.w

176.what are you doing right now?:: filling this out.. nice question tho.. and im kinda sleepy + bored

177.are you listenin to music?:: YES

178.if so what song?:: I Can Tell You Wanna Fuck by: 504 Boys.. "Put me on the counter of the kitchen now babii cool my body with some ice cream.. Lick me from head toe bending me over 69'll be the next thing.." yeah I like this song....

179.what is in your cd player?:: umm the cd is called MERRRT #4

180.who are you talking to?:: no one the internet isn't in...

181.if ur a girl are u wearing nail polish? :: YUP

182.what color?:: red red red ed red

183.what are you wearing?:: I should get into my pajamas, but I'm wearing a black shirt with pink writing that says "California dreaming" and it has a pink little flower with places like Malibu on it and stuff.. Um.. And im wearing my old jeans from Weathervane.. I have underwear and a bra on too.. But um.. You don't need to know..

184.what are you thinking right now? :: How it's 2004 and how much I miss 2003 and I'm scared of 2004 kind of, because I'm scared of getting hurt this year and crying this year.. Like I haven't cried all year, and I'm scared to cry.

185.what did u to today? :: Brianna Sam and Danielle and Me woke up at 1 in the afternoon after staying up until 5 in the morning... yes yes yes.. So I went pee and then I stepped on sam and then we threw mints at each other and then I put pretties on sam and she tried to put pretties on Danielle so I slapped her.. And brianna farted for the first time this year.. And then we offered the pizza guy a mint cuz we ordered a pizza with bread sticks and the guy wouldn't take the mint.. He wasn't hott either.. We was kinda dorky.. I miss hott pizza guys.. Yeah then idk what I did..umm well sam and brianna left and it was just me and Danielle and then I took a shower when Danielle left.. Then I vacuumed then I went online and talked to super cool people.. Then I watched radio free roscoe it was 2 episodes about ray and veronica and how lily is started to like ray and yeah.. And then I wrote in my diary and watched dumb & dumberer.. And then I watched 8 crazy nights and now im doing this...

f.u.t.u.r.e

186.what to you wanna be?:: a model...

187.where do you wanna live?:: oviedo florida or California or maybe I'll stay in dover.. I like dover you guys

188.who do u wanna marry? :: ahh im 13 years old don't ask me these kind of questions they scare me. Im just a little girl let me enjoy my last 5 months of being 13 .. A little girl. A child..

189.do you wanna get married? :: um...yeah sure

190.do you wanna have kids? ::not really

191.if so... how many?:: 1-2

192.if u could marry anyone who would it be? ::hey spanky, u just asked this question... kind of.. I don't know who I'm way too young to even contemplate marriage.

l.a.s.t t.i.m.e. y.o.u......

193.kissed :: a boy or a girl.. Haha just kidding mon.. umm the last time I kissed a boy was December 19th 2003...maybe right? Yeah I think so...

194.cried:: uh December 31, 2003...

195.said something:: like im talking right now....

196.ate:: uh... well I was watching That's So Raven and eating potatoe home fry thingys... and that was like hours ago.. After I fill this out I'll prolly either eat or sleep.

197.drank:: i dont know.. I drank a slim fast like an hour ago while I watched dumb and dumberer

198.exercised:: ughh.... I needa go that

199.made love:: I have never had sex before...

200.read a book on your own time:: umm it's been a while.. I haven't been to the library

201.had a bf/gf:: RIGHT NOW

202.danced:: im dancing right now... sorta

203.showered :: earlier..

204.brushed your teeth:: after I ate pizza... wow that's a while ago

h.a.v.e. y.o.u. e.v.e.r

205.smoked a cigerette:: EWWWW

206.cigar?:: EWWW

207.black?:: EWW

208.weed?:: EWWW

209.been high?:: EWWW

210.had sex?:: im still a virgin

211.said i hope you die to someone?:: yes I said it TO someone and ABOUT someone

212.tried to kill someone:: with a butterknife

213.tried to kill yourself :: by not eating not by cutting...

214.got in a fist fight:: idk

215.lied to your parents:: course

216.if so.. about what?:: ummm going to the movies going to the library.. Visiting "cousins"

217.lied to your friends?:: yes...they found out though and it was just to save my sorry ass

218.if so.. about what?:: uhh wellya see I don't remember

219.bungee jumped?:: o yeah all the time didn't i tell ya

220.skydive:: yeah taht too

221.been drunk:: no

222.been totally smashed:: NO

223.farted loud in public:: HAHAHAHA

224.skinny-dipped?:: omg i want to soo bad it sounds fun! anyone wanna take me skinny dipping

225.driven illegally? ::nope

226.ditched someone ::course i have

227.freak danced:: well imma freak + i dance

228.stole something:: BitE ME

229.if so... what?:: mood rings

230.skipped school?:: nope

231.hung up on someone?:: o yes i have many many times

232.if so.. who? :: jon pace, danielle, kelli g, courtney one time when we were in a fight, michelle, zack, JIMMY , my mom , my dad, my uncle... omg the list goes on + on

233.and why? :: cuz i can

234.wore something revealing :: yes i have

236.kissed someone of the same sex :: um yeah...

237.done anything sexually with the same sex :: kiss

238.snuck out :: yessssssss ..... how else would i make out + go to the movies

239.been to a school dance? :: yeah .. They aren't as good as they were In 7th grade

240.if so.. how many? um let's see the first one on October 11 in 7th.. Then the one on December then the one in march.. Then there wasn't one after that then the one in October 3rd this year then the one on December 5th.. So 5 dances

w.h.a.t c.o.m.e.s t.o m.i.n.d

241.lotion :: baby oil

242.rubber :: rubber chicken

243.cd :: Mrs. Seally

244.bed:: king size

245.paper:: paper cut

246.run:: Tony

247.candle:: black out

248.mouse pad:: three blind mice

249.sweatshirt:: miss independent

250,door:: revolving

251.pictures:: camp

252.larosas:: lacrosse

253.deoderant:: armpit sweat... ewww...

254.pencil:: grip

255.sex ::MOAN

256.radio:: station




f.r.i.e.n.d.s

257.best girl friends:: I love all my gurl friends they're all the best. u guys kick major butt + i love u gurls

258.best guy friends:: All my guy friends r wicked awesome

250.shortest ::jon pace...

251.tallest :: uh.. I have no idea.. I got it Mr. Franz.. He brags about being 6 feet all the friggin time.. Mr. Franz is my tallest friend. Hey I miss Mr. Franz I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks. Who wants to bet he got wasted over Christmas.. Him and his raging college parties and his girlfriend who makes him see mona lisa smile.. Haha im gonna ask him about that u bet I am..

252.best eyes:: MICKI

253.most inside jokes:: danielle ann fredette

254.best advice giver:: Kadi Lynn

255.comes to you for anything:: Kadi Lynn

256.chill with the most:: Brianna Sam and Danielle

257.laugh with the most:: everyone.... ESPECIALLY SHONA.. Me and Shona will laugh about ANYTHING it's really pathetic...

258.girls-which of ur gf's would u pick for a bf if they were a guy?: that's kinda gross

4 g.i.r.l.s o.n.l.y

297.boxers/briefs:: SILVER BOXERS hahaha paul's silver boxers to be exact

298.hat/no hat:: umm depends on how they look without the hat.. See if it's Jimmy then um.. He can take his hat off..

299.blonde/brown:: brown on a guy BROWN hair.. Or it has to be dark.. I don't usually date blondes.. If ur a blonde and I dated you lemme know

300.tall/short:: doesnt matter

301.sensative/tough:: a lil bit of both is cool

302.jock/smartie :: omg I used to love skaters. Ehh not anymore.. Umm I don't care

303.tan/pale :: it dont matter 2 me

304.good stomach/good arms (only 1) :: STOMACH.. I don't really understand arms. Haha but brianna does. Brianna has an arm fetish.. And umm jesse FITZSIMMONS is obsessed with his arms so um yeah....

305.ugly feet/ugly teeth:: ugly feet cuz u can cover those with shoes and sox but wut u gonna cover ugly teeth w/

306.blue eyes/brown eyes:: BROWN or HAZEL

307.basketball/football :: baseball

308.golf/tennis:: uhh its gay but golf

b.e.s.t o.f 2oo3

319.holiday:: my 13th birthday... and celebrating new years with Sam brianna and Danielle

320.song :: The best song of 2003 was probably In Da Club or like MILKSHAKE song.. Haha or like Holidae Inn.. Haha or RIGHT THURR or Swing Swing... umm maybe not... I love all those

321.movie :: Finding Nemo was the BEST movie of 2003.. That and Freaky Friday...

322.new actress :: linsday lohan.. even tho she not really new

323.new actor:: I don't know

324.new rapper :: 50 cent

325.new singer:: Stacy Orrico

326.memory :: The best memory of 2003.. Aww ur gonna make me cry I can't say it.. It's not what you think it is either.. It's a lot of different things from like over the summer...

r.a.n.d.o.m

327.is this too long?:: UH YEAH i didnt know it was this long

328.well its longer.... so deal with it ::o well u can bite me damn survey

329.what time did you wake up today:: 1 in the afternoon

330.what did you do today:: u already asked that

331.what are you doing tomorrow:: Um.... What am I doing?

332.what quotes do you like?
:: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS...

*never regret something that once made you smile*

--sometimes relationships are like glass.. Better to be left broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.. And if u do put it back together it's never the same or as good--

(-iVe LeArNeD tHaT gOoDbYeZ wILL aLwAyZ hUrT-)
(-PiCtUrEs NeVa RePLaCe HaViNg bEeN tHeRe-)
(-MeMoRiEz GoOd oR bAd WiLL bRiNg TeArS-)
(-AnD wOrDs CaN nEvEr RePLaCe THOsE fEeLiNgZ-)

i TrIpPeD & FeLL fOr yoU
DiDnT kNoW wHaT tO dO
aNd nOw iM sTuCk WhErE mY hEaRt iS
[ b R e A k I n G . i N . T w O ]

i WaNnA SeE YoU.. i WaNnA Be WiTh yOu
i WaNnA hUg YoU...& i WaNnA kiSs YoU
BuT tHeREz OnE ThiNG ThAt I NevEr WaNnA dO
*i NeVeR wAnNa LoSe YoU*

nO MaTtEr hOw mAnY GrLz hAvE ToLd u tHeY LuV u
nOnE Of tHem mEaN It tHe wAy i dO

LiFe TaKeS Ya DrEaMz -N- TuRnS Em UpSiDe DoWn
fRiEnDs TaLk aBoUt YoU WhEn YoU AiNt aRoUnD
PeOpLe MaKe PrOMiSeS ThAt tHeY JuSt DoNt KeEp
iVe CoMe To ReaLiZe tHat
..TaLk iS ChEaP..

EvErYtHiNg ((FaLlS)) aPaRt->> EvEn ThE pEoPlE wHo --NeVeR-- [fRoWn] EvEnTuAlLy ( b r e a k d o w n )

nO r e G r E t S - >> jUs leSsOns LeaRneD

ItS oK tO kIsS a [fOoL].
ItS oK tO LeT a :FoOl: KiSs YoU...
BuT nEvEr LeT a KiSs --FoOl-- YoU.

.P.r.O.m.I.s.E.s. mEaN [EvErYtHiNg]
BuT AfTeR tHeYrE .B.R.o.K.e.N.
[SoRrY] mEaNs nOtHiN

( gO ahEaD - >> haTe On [ mE ]
i - | lOve | - tHe _ < aTtenTiOn >



iTs fUnNy h0W MuCh Shyt
PeOpLe CaN TaLk BehiNd yOuR bAck
bUt wEn yOu CoNfR0Nt theM tHeY'll Be LIkE
"Um, wHo Said That?"

{{i CaNt GeT hIm [OuTtA] mY hEaD}}
BuT tHeN aGaIn-->
dO i ReAlLy WaNt --ToO--

wHiLe Ur SiTTiN home oNe Night
ThiNkiN Of what U cOuLdA had
ill bE Out HaViN fun CuZ BaBy-->
T h A t. W a S. u R. B a D.

WhAtS iN tHa PaSt Is --OvEr-- dOnE wItH.
No :HaRd: FEeLiNs.
JuSt [[fUcKeD]] uP eNdInGs.

As YoU >sLiDe>> DoWn ThE bAnIsTeR oF lIfE... mAy YoUr ((AsS)) cOlLeCt MaNy --SpLiNtErS-->

:BoYs: ShOuLd WeAr CaUtIoN sIgNs ThAt SaY
"CaPaBlE oF bReAkInG-- hEaRtS" cUz SoMe
PeOpLe FiNd ThAt OuT tHe {HaRd} WaY

u {LiE} cuz u don't want to hurt him
u {CrY} cuz u don't want him to leave u
u {LaUgH} cuz u want him to smile
u {TeAsE} cuz it keeps him coming back
u {KiSs} cuz u think hes hot
u {LoVe} cuz hes all u got

Im StRoNg--> KeEpIn My ShIt In LiNe
EvEn WiTh TeArS sTreAmIn DoWn My FaCe
I aLwAyS mAnAgE tO sAy, "Im FiNe".

SoMeTiMeS yOu wAnT sOmEtHiN oR SoMeOnE So BaD
ThAt Ur aFrAiD oF tHe CoNsEqUeNcEs
aRr YoU rEaLLy AfRaId Of ThE CoNsEqUeNcEs...?
Or ArE yOu aFrAiD oF wHaT yOu rEaLLy wAnT?

WhEn YoUrE lYiNg In BEd At NiTe
wOnDeRiNg If YoUlL EvEr FiNd SoMeOnE,
yOuLl SmIlE aNd LoOk BaCk At Me..
AnD tHaT wIlL bE tHe DaY
YoUlL ReGrEt WaLkInG aWaY


WhY dO wE cLoSe oUr EyEs WhEn We DrEaM?
WhEn We CrY? WhEn We ImAgInE? WhEn We KiSs?
BeCaUsE tHe MoSt BeAuTiFuL ThInGs ArE uNsEeN.

FoR ThE OnEs WhO dOnT [[UnDeRsTaNd]]
WaLk A MiLe-- iN mY .sHoEs.
SeE wHaT i SeE - fEeL wHaT i fEeL
ThEn (rEaLiZe) WhY i Do
. . .wHaT i Do. . .

x? i'M oLd EnOuGh To KnOw bEtTeR ?x?
x? BuT yOuNg EnOuGh NoT tO cArE ?x?

JuSt BeCaUsE i ((FlIrT))....dOeSnT mEaN iM [[iNtErEsTeD]]

. WhAt yOu DoN't KnOw .
. CaN't HuRt YoU .
. iT's WhAt YoU sUsPeCt .
. ThAt FCkS eVeRyThInG uP .

(?.??)Be Sure Its True When U
?.?.?? Say I Love U(??.???)
Millions Of Hearts hAve ?.?.??
HaVe Been (?.??)BrOkeN
JusT because ?.?.?? TheSe Words
Were Spoken


..u.KnOw.He.((LoVeS)).U.WhEn.He.KnOwS.((EvErYtHiNg)).AbOuT.U.aNd.((LoVeS)).U.NeWaYs.

U wErE ThErE ThRoUgH ThE {GoOd} TiMeS
-n- HeLpEd Me ThRoUgH ThE {bAd}
We'vE HaD OuR ShArE Of {FiTeS}
-n- We'vE GoTtEn EaCh OtHa {mAd}
BuT As {BeSt FrIeNdS} We GoT ThRoUgH It
-n- BeCaMe {ClOsEr} EvRy DaY
BeSt FrIeNdS.. -n- I WoUlDnt HaVe It AnY OtHer {WaY}

fLaTtEr Me aNd i May nOt BeLieVe yOu
CriTiCiZe mE aNd i MaY nOt LikE yOu
iGnOrE mE aNd i MaY nOt FoRgiVe yOu
bUt LoVe mE aNd i WiLL nEvEr fOrGeT yOu

SoMeTiMeS tHeRe ArE nO tImE oUtS...
No SeCoNd ChAnCeS...
SoMeTiMeS iTs NoW ...oR nEvEr
[ i bet u'll never remember ]
[ tha thingz ill neva f0rget ]

PeOpLe DoNt cHaNge ThInGs...tHiNgS cHaNgE pEoPlE

LoTs Of LaUghS, LoTs Of TeArS
sPiLLiN OuT DrEaMs wiTh aLL oUr FeArS
TaLkInG fOr hOuRs On tHe pHoNe
EaChOtHeRs HoUsEs aRe OuR SeCoNd HoMeS

YoUr On My LiSt Of "ThInGs To Do"

No MaTtA HoW mUcH yOu MaY bE SaD oR bLuE
tHeReS aLwAys SoMeOnE OuT ThErE
wHo GoT iT mUcH WoRsE tHaN yOu

-|-If two past lovers -|-can remain friends -|-they were either. -|-never in love -|-or..still are.

iN lIfE yOu GoTtA tAkE tHe GoOd WiT tHe BaD
sMiLe WiT tHe SaD . . . LoVe WhAt YoU haVe
aNd ReMeMbEr WhAt YoU hAd

No one looses faith in you, you just loose faith in yourself

i just want you to know, that i dont regret a single moment i ever spent on you

Look into my eyes for one moment and then you will realize just how much you mean to me.

It's strange how laughter looks like crying without sound and how raindrops taste like tears with no pain.

LiFe SuCkS...i LoSt ThE oNe...i'M GiViNg Up...He FoUnD sOmEoNe...

i DoN't pLaY hArD tO gEt...i pLaY tO gEt YoU hArD...

i'M nOt AnYtHiNg BuT a GoOd GiRL WiTh A NaUgHtY sMiLe.


((I am the queen of quotes.. Ask anyone.. My agenda o geez))

333.what quotes from songs do you like? :: Does this mean you want me to sing to you?.. OK!!! Im listening to RAPID HOPE LOSS!!!
Youve called to say you wanted out
Well I cant say I blame you now
Sometimes you've got to fold before you're found out
Well thanks for waiting this long
To show yourself, yourself
'Cause now that I can "see" you
I dont think you're worth a second glance.

So much for all the promises you made
They served you well
And now you're gone and their wasted on me
So much for you're endearing sense of charm
It served you well
And now its gone and you're wasted on me.


Youve called to say you wanted out
Well I cant say I blame you now
Sometimes you've got to fold before you're found out
Well thanks for waiting this long
To show yourself, show yourself
'Cause now that I can "see" you
I dont think you're worth a second glance.

So much for all the promises you made
They served you well
And now you're gone and their wasted on me
So much for you're endearing sense of charm
It served you well
And now its gone and you're wasted on me.

I guess that all youve got is all you're gonna get
So much for...So much more
I guess that all youve got is all you're gonna get
So much for...So much more

Do what you must if thats what you wish
I cannot be a party to this
You have a sense that you were born with
You'll find a way to make things right

I guess that all youve got is all you're gonna get
So much for...So much more
repeat 3x

^good song


334.what are you doin? :: WHAT DO U THINK STUPID?

335.are cheezits of cheese nips better? :: cheeznips

336.how many nail filers do you own?:: I got like 2309123813 for christmas

q.u.e.s.t.i.o.n.s i f.o.r.g.o.t

337.how much nail polish do u have :: a ton

338.thongs? umm well right now in my thingy I have 6 from weathervane.. But this summer I had 8 other ones but my mom found them and she .. Hid them...

339.purses :: my mom has a Louis Vuitton one

340.bras :: like 5.. But I only wear 3 different ones.. The white one.. The black one and the peach one

341.boyfriends ::um... idk about u but i have ONE right now... i have had 20 in my whole life tho

342.lotions/sprays :: what about them.. I wear sometimes this stuff from victoria secret or bath and body works

344.whats the weather like today? :: I didn't go outside

emm
britney spears got married

Uh...
George dumped kelley.. but i know that they'll go back out... I'm just surprised that he dumped her.. he shouldn't have. he regrets it..

Fuck This
Seriously fuck this. This is the last time I try to help anyone out ever. I am never going to try to help out anyone ever again in my life. Okay so i heard something and i told someone and i thought that it would help.. then i get phone calls from two assholes calling me a whole and a slut and all this stuff.. who needs that? Who needs to be called a slut? Well today sucks really bad. and once again it is undenyable my fault. Yep my fault again. Dammit why don't I just let people deal with their problems. Why do I always get involved with other people's problems? New Years Resolution.. stop getting involved with other people's problems... and colin is mad at me too.. great.. great.. I seriously am sick of helping people.. ungreatful people.. uuughhh.. and if you think this entry is about you.. you're wrong.. because the one person that this is about has nothing to do with anything that happened today..

--Very Long Blog--
My heart went through so much in 2003. I went through many break ups in 2003. I thought I was in love a couple times, but I do not know what love is... I mean I am only 13 years old. I really thought I was in love though... I was all depressing and glum... I just was not myself. Then I changed. Into someone who I never wanted to be, but I could not stop the change... Sometimes change is good... Well you be the judge... Was the change good...? Because this is who I am now. The person I am now is the Nikky Raney of 2004. I bet I will alter an awful lot in 2004 though. Change happens, you never really know when it is going to happen, and you can never really tell when it is happening. There is no sign... but there are signs that things are going to change. Everything changes eventually. Some things you do not want to happen, but you have to accept it. You have to take this as them come, and not be so meticulous about what goes on. The biggest fear for 2004 I have is rejection... Moreover, hurt. I don't want to get hurt, I am paranoid of getting hurt that I'm not attaching myself close enough to people anymore, because if I attach myself to someone then I will get hurt. I will probably end up hurting myself... emotionally not physically. Sometimes as awful as this must sound I would much rather be hurt physically than be hurt emotionally. I do not cry when I am hurt physically... However, I cry when I am hurt emotionally. Maybe that is why some people cut themselves. To release the emotional pain with the knife. Maybe they think all the pain and suffering will go away if they just hurt themselves physically. On the other hand, maybe when they hurt themselves they forget about the inner pain, and just focus on the pain of whatever tool they are using for self-mutilation. I was once a self-mutilator... Only I was not cutting myself... I was carving Tino valpa's initials into my hip... Ahh I feel like such a dumb person for even doing that. I only did it because Michelle carved fandi pradipta's initials in her knee and Michelle had like seven other carvings... I had one on my hand too... Thank god, they went away... If I had to stare at any TV's or tino's then I swear, I would probably go insane. I cannot stand that kid. I know you should not hate your exes, but this kid is... well. I do not hate him. We used to be like best friends... but you know I realized I just could not be friends with him after all the stuff he has done to me and all the stupid stuff he has pulled. I don't have any phone numbers because he ripped them out of my agenda... he has a problem and I don't want to get into his life because I just can't stand that kid... wow it's good to vent and get that off my chest about him.. And Tino if you're reading this I'm sorry bud, but after you call me a whole warn me up to 100% and rip up all my phone numbers it's hard for me to even think about being friends with you... Whatever... I guess I should just put stuff in the past... Give up the grudges. I mean I am absolutely terrible at holding grudges for most people... I don't know if that's a bad thing... the only person I have been able to keep a grudge for is Jessica Tippett, but I will always hate her no matter how many sorry notes she writes me. No matter what I will always hate Jessica tippett. You know what I miss. My child hood. Sometimes I wish I could do it over... but then I know that if I did it over then I would have to go through all those mistakes and challenges and all that stuff I did when I was a child... Oh, gosh I am getting nostalgic... I am acting like some old woman talking about her childhood. I am friends with an old woman. Her name is Alice and she is 90 years old. She made me realize that you need to live your life to the fullest, and worry about what matters most to you. The things you can learn from old people... I bet no one is really going to read this whole thing... I do not blame you... I probably would not read this whole thing either, but maybe if you are bored you will read this, because a lot of though and emotion went into this diary entry... I do not spill my emotions often for everyone to read, but I guess I want people to know me... from the inside. I want people to be able to read my poetry and know what I am all about... I guess that is the reason people have online diaries... to show their friends and peers around them how they really are opposed to the stereotypes people have of them. You really should not judge people that you do not know personally and have never had a real conversation with, because that is just plain ignorance. I know there are quite a few people out there who hate me... Most of them are girls in the 9th grade who have never even tried to take the time and actually get to know me. If you actually get to know me, you will probably find out that I am not as bad as you think I am. I don't understand how people can be so shallow and say "Oh my god I hate her she's SUCH a ho and a snob, and omg.." and say stuff like that (about me..) when they haven't talk to me in their lives, and I shop at the same places they do. I shop at Pac Sun and Weathervane for most of my clothes... and sometimes I will go to Filenes's or JCPenney. My mom will not even let me step inside Abercrombie and Fitch (not as if I would want to anyway...) because my mom says they are exploiting kids, and they show excessively much skin. I do not even understand how I got the label slut from those people... I mean... I wear many of the same things that they wear... In addition, I have done a lot of the same stuff they have done with boys... I mean maybe the stuff they did was not passed around the whole school, but if it did, they would know how I feel... maybe people need to start doing that. Wondering how other people feel. And the next time you spread a rumor or talk behind someone's back think to yourself... "How would I feel if that was about me... instead of their name it was my name and I was being talked about and had rumors spread about me?" I bet no one would want that... No one likes being talked about. I don't get why we all cannot get along, but everyone is so stuck in his or her ways. People are afraid of change... I will admit it I am afraid of change to. I think that the people that don't really know me should read this diary entry and decide to get to know me, because I'm sick of all the hating from people who don't know me personally, and haven't even taken the time to get to know me. I am willing to get to know other people. I have to go back to school Monday. I am a little bit nervous. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what will happen. I want to start the New Year off really well. I want this to be a GOOD year. I don't want anything bad to happen this year, but bad things always happen... because if they didn't happen you wouldn't be as thankful when good things happen. Good things will happen if you believe that they will happen. What is bothering me right now is how other people change, and I know I am not the only person who changes. It is just weird that everyone else changed too, and it is hard for them to even notice my change, because they are so amazed with the change that they have gone through too. Some people I wish would change. Some people will never change. Some people have changed too much. I miss the way that certain people used to be. I miss how things were back then, but I'm looking forward to how things will be in the future. You cannot be stuck in the past. You cannot live in the past. It's not good for you, and you don't get anything out of it, but a lot of hurting. I don't want to care what people think of me anymore. Why should I care what people think of me in the first place? They can't change who I am, and they can't change what I do. All they can do is hold me back from being who I am. I don't want that. I want people to just accept me for who I am. I am sick of the dirty looks. I am sick of the stares. I'm sick of the whispering. I am sick of the secrets. I am sick of the rumors. I am sick of people talking behind my back. I am just sick of all the drama, but then I think about it. If it weren't for the drama my life would be boring, but I don't need this much drama. I get mad at myself easily. I surround myself with people who just bring me down, and who lessen my self-esteem. Do I really want that? I think I have already made that decision. I realize that if I care too much about someone then I'll get hurt by them. Trust is really hard for me. It's really hard for me to gain people's trust. It's really hard for people to gain my trust. I guess that people think since I'm most talkative I can't keep a secret, and that I blab everything. I don't think that's true. There are many things no one knows besides the confidant and me. There are a lot of things no one will ever know about me... there are a lot of secrets about other people no one will ever get out of me... there are a lot of people who wouldn't tell me a secret if someone paid them a million dollars, and that's just stereotyping me and I really don't need that stuff anymore. I don't need it. I feel like I am disappointing myself by writing this long entry...and I have a feeling that not very many people will actually read this unless there is nothing to do and they get bored, but the thing is... I really want this to be read. I don't know why I just wish people could understand me. I just wish people could accept me as I am, and not try to change me. Not lie to me. I just wish that I could stop hating myself for the mistakes and regrets of 2003. I wish that I didn't do certain things I did, but I need to realize that everything happens for a reason, and you cannot stop what is meant to happen. I can't go back in time. I can't redo what's already been done. Life IS NOT a stage. Whoever said Life is a stage was wrong. On the stage, you can redo it if you mess up. On the stage, you can make it better. On the stage, you have rehearsed your lines. On the stage, you know what you are going to say. You are not faced with awkward moments. Life is not a stage. Life is Life... I don't know a better way to put it do you? My life is like a soap opera... I hate to say it but it's true. I guess that if someone spent a day with me they wouldn't see all the emotion I go through. I guess I put up a fa?ade when people are around. I don't want them to see how I am. I'm scared. When I say fa?ade I don't mean fronts of buildings silly. I mean a fake front.. A fake ... you know.. And I don't wanna say that I am fake. I don't think I'm fake. I just think I hide my emotions for other people. I deny my emotions. I try to make my emotions go away, but sometimes.. They just don't. I'm going to end this here and I hope that you actually take the time to read this whole thing.. And then maybe take the time to get to know me... <3 Nikky Raney <3

*Awkward*
I hate when people make things soo awkward... they make everything so awkward. I wish things were how they were before. But it's 2004.. time for *nEw beGinNingS* it gives me a chance to start over.. and i hope i don't change this year as much as I did last year cuz that was wicked drastic & i don't think the world is ready for another one of those changes.. actually I am not ready. I'm terrified of change.. especially when you're finally getting settled with the way things are. I mean I did miss my past... but i don't miss my past anymore.
someone got me thinking about all my exboyfriends and how i pick them.. actually it was morgan lol. am i that bad at picking boyfriends? I mean i like the guy when i pick him... I mean everyone has problems and no one is perfect.. and i mean i guess when you go out with someone you just accept the imperfections and accept the person for who they really are. I mean there has to be a reason i liked them or else I wouldn't have gone out with them..
I want to figure out how to put pictures on this Blog thingy... would someone like to teach me?